Foot In Mouth Disease – It’s a serious thing people!

Hi My name is Lisa and I have Foot in Mouth Disease.

Hi Lisa (Readers says in unison)

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I have a problem. Words take a zip line from my brain and fly out of my mouth in a nano second. So fast, that I don’t have an opportunity to grab a hold of them for inspection, to making sure they are safe for the public to hear. If you are ever wondering what I am thinking, just sit next to me for a few minutes. Some of you might be like, Wow, that’s not such a bad quality. Why is she complaining about this?  

I’ll tell you why. Example #1:

I am at a close friends gathering. Her boyfriend is there, they have been dating a while now. His parents are there as well. I think to myself : Lisa, those poor people don’t know anyone. Go over there and be charming. Make them feel comfortable and welcomed. Go!  So, I stroll over there, introduce myself and make conversation. Before you know it, they are telling me about how they named there son (my friends boyfriend). It was a toss between two names, the name he has or some dorky name.

“Well, I think you made the right choice. Its a good thing you didn’t name him Dorky Name. He would have been terrorized growing up. Could you imagine?” I say, without coming up for air. Then, I continue to say all the ways you could make fun of a person with said Dorky Name. I am rhyming out different insults tied to the name, even a little song. Mind you, I am counting on my fingers all the ways I came up with to prove that they clearly made the right choice. This goes on for about a solid five minutes (I am not exaggerating, I wish I was). FINALLY, I stop moving my mouth and there, there it was. The SILENCE. I’ve done it again.

“Dorky Name is my name” Boyfriends Dad says, straight faced and very insulted.

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Yup! I do this all the dam time!

My intention is not to be malicious and I am sorry if I have ever insulted anyone out there.

Does anyone in the crowd have the same disease as me? Can you top this story?

I must warn you, this is the tip of the ice burg as far as stories. I have been suffering from this for a loooong time. I got stories!

The good news is I have a prescription for it now.

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Ahh! Words to live by!

32 thoughts on “Foot In Mouth Disease – It’s a serious thing people!”

  2. Hello, welcome to the group. I am so happy that there are other people suffering with the same disease. I am not alone. “Hi ShopGirlAnyonymous” Readers say in unison. 😉
    Thank you for reading!!

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  4. kathrynsully says:

    In the moment, things like that are always unbelievably embarrassing. I should know, I do it too. However, after it’s been over for a while, most of the time you can look back and laugh. Like your story about the dorky name, I’ll admit, I thought it was pretty funny.

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    • True – I am laughing but I am not sure Boyfriends Dad is. He is probably in therapy after I rehashed childhood memories. 😦 LOL I’m kidding, I’m kidding. We all welcome you to the group and its healthy to laugh, right? 🙂 Thanks for reading!!

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  6. So funny! I have to check my mouth all the time too. Oy.

    There’s a sign I saw awhile back that said
    “Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder, and your hand over my mouth.”
    I thought, “YEP.”

    Haha

    Thanks for sharing your embarrassing story. It was fun to read.

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  8. annieemmy says:

    Hahahaha! That seriously happened?! What did you SAY?! I would have dug myself a hole and climbed right in. OH MY GAH! I can’t even imagine. I’m seriously so afraid of offending people that it takes me a good 15 minutes to say much of anything because I’m too busy editing, deleting and rewriting every stinkin’ thought that pops into my head. It’s exhausting. But I’m not sure which one is worse to have…

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    • I just took a sip of whatever alcoholic beverage I was holding, apologized and then said, “I am going to remove the foot that seems to be lodge in my mouth right now” and turned on my heal and walked away as fast as possible. I stayed on the other side of the room for the rest of the night. LOL In a perfect world I would like to live in a happy medium of censorship and flowing thoughts. 🙂 🙂 Thank for reading!! 🙂

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  10. Yup, that’s me as well. Luckily, most of my friends know this and are kind enough to overlook my shining moments of verbal offensiveness. And if there are new faces in the crowd, my friends stay abreast of the situation by warning them, “don’t mind him, he’s an idiot.” 🙂

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  12. aquachiya says:

    Reblogged this on aquachiya and commented:
    From my experience this is something that most people go through, I get it – the light bulb lights up before hand, and once you notice that you have said something, it may have been embarrassing or actually great. We all tend to speak before hand. But the best part is you get to laugh about situations like this for a very long time. You have something to live by….

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    • I am so relieved that I am not alone insulting people by accident out there! LOL 🙂 Thank you so much for taking the time to read and deeming it worthy to share!! 🙂 I really appreciate it!

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  13. Once I quit a job at a doctors office because I could no longer handle his nagging wife who also happened to be the office manager. Upon interviewing for my next job, the “office manager” asked me why I left the last place so of course I told her the truth. Come to find out she too was the doctors wife but she had a different last name so I thought I was safe in criticizing that family should not work in the office! And she still gave me the job! She said she loved my honesty and she was determined to show me that she was nothing like my previous “office manager”. And she wasn’t.

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  14. Hahaha! I saw this coming, but I couldn’t decide if it was going to the be the father’s name, or perhaps another baby that came afterward.

    I’m dying to know his name! I always think about names for that exact reason… I avoided naming my daughter Violet because I didn’t want her initials to be VD. 🙂

    I, too, have done things like this. The most embarrassing time was in a work situation and is so humiliating, I can’t even share it here. But know you are not alone! Great post.

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  15. Love this, as I have had my moments with the same problem. The Dorky Name story cracks me up… and reminds me of my boyfriend in high school’s sister’s name… their mother picked names out of the Bible for all of them and for her daughter, of all of the names she could have chosen… she chose Dorcas. Can you imagine?!?

    Found you from Dedicated Momster’s Friday Top Five. Nice to meet you!

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    • Thank you!! Seriously?? She couldn’t have chosen Eve, Mary, Hannah, Julia, Lydia – I mean the list goes on and on of pretty girl names. It should be illegal to name your child Dorcas – I don’t care if it was in the bible!!! LOL 🙂 So glad you dropped by 🙂

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  16. OMGGGGG that story and the way you told it had me laughing! But now I’m also totally feeling how embarrassed you must have been when he said he had that dorky name! Eeeek hehehe 🙂 Thanks for the smile though and, heck, I’ve done tons of embarrassing things. The best thing is later laughing about it 🙂

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