I find I am clutching my mug of steaming hot coffee a bit tighter lately, grabbing for the throw blanket to burrito myself in more often than usual, and procrastinating a little longer before rolling out of bed or stepping out of the scorching shower. Winter has officially set in for Long Island. BRRR!
The garbage is filled with empty cardboard hearts, yes plural, and a new blemish has erupted on my chin (which for me, is unusual). We have gone through several sketch pads, glue sticks and packages of construction paper in this house. The DVR is empty, every book has been read, the toys have been played with and Logos have been built. We have beaded necklaces and bracelets, molded Play-Doh into mini animal shapes and even practiced some school work.
Its only Monday! SIX MORE DAYS! Six more days the kids are home from school and the snacks are depleting at an astounding rate! Its too cold to go outside and after an unexpected vet bill, my budget is a bit tight. (Doggie is doing fine now 🙂 )
Its only Monday! Now what?
If it was up to me, I’d remain a burrito all week long reading, writing and editing. Sigh . . but that will not satisfy four energetic children. So does anyone have any great suggestions?
Through hardship and difficult times, pieces of your identity come forth in unexpected ways. I had been unaware of the tremendous pride, which I was carrying within me, until I needed to set it free. There was my enormous ego, which fled, leaving me deserted, feeling empty, mourning its departure. We will all experience hardship and loss throughout our lifetime; it’s how we allow these experiences to shape our identity, influence our choices, and test our bonds with one another.
“Why?” I kept asking, “Why? Why is this happening to me? Why wasn’t I better prepared? Why isn’t there anyone to help?” The many “why’s” which I continued to ask, felt like a whisper at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Despite the absent response, the quiet sense of being ignored in the solitude of my despair, I relentlessly questioned, asking only, “Why?”
An excerpt from my novel.
Photo Credit: http://www.boomsbeat.com