I wrote this some time ago, trying to describe the feeling of taking a warm shower after a long day. I was hoping to capture the moment when I submerge my head in the water and drown out all sound. For me, that is a place of clarity, where I can just let it all go. Either that or I need to get out more. Well, either way, here it is.
A chill set deep inside my bones, muscles tense, mind running. I peel away my clothing until they are slouched at me feet. With the twist of a knob, my oasis awaits. The steam climbs up my legs, eventually clouding my vision. Putting my right foot forward, I step towards the pulsing water, letting it slip over my body like an oversized shirt. I am engulfed in its warmth. My thoughts are fleeting like every bead of water rushing down. The inner voice has drained my emotions with anxiety, worry, fear. The water vibrating my back allows me to relax, sighing out all which I cannot change. I surrender my head to the current. It is here where I find the silence. I am just the soul, seeking shelter as the water saturates my home. It is here I reside, safe and warm, unharmed and unaffected. I sit quietly watching, listening as the water pounces off, I can hear each solitary drop tap dancing and echoing within. The voices have vanished, leaving me as I am. Traveling within the walls my soul has been placed. Warmth, light, quiet and peace. I am. I am. I am.
I’m worn down. Underneath my nose is chapped and raw, as I take in a series of short breaths. My eyes are watery, my bones are achy and worst of all, I can’t taste my coffee. My symptoms come as no surprise, just proof of the affection I have received from the people I live with. These same people have been screaming and whining throughout the house, like a sword slicing through my ear drums. They have been arguing and fighting, tumbling down to the floor, vibrating the walls. I am forced to live with people that are slobs, leaving piles of their things everywhere, dishes in the sink and a trail of dirty laundry. Sharing a bathroom with them has become intolerable, toothpaste on the vanity, paper on the floor, and you can almost always count on a surprise waiting in the toilet. I live with an inconsiderate bunch, just when I sit, they ask for a favor. Just when I take my first bite, they beg for seconds. I cohabitate with the most unorganized group of people you could imagine. The moment they put anything down, its lost! Better yet, they rely on my ability to see before they are able to use anything. These people have no consideration for boundaries and what belongs exclusively to me. They are constantly asking for help, always needing, always wanting.
Just when I decide, “I’ve had enough, I’m going to find a new place to live,” they widen their adorable little eyes, reach their tiny little arms around my neck and call me “mommy.”
Although they aren’t the ideal housemates, I do love them anyway!
It has just been a rough day!