My Ass Hurts!

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Yes, you read that correctly. My ass, does in fact hurt! Why does my ass hurt? I will gladly explain what is causing my ass pain.

Child 1 : Likes to fight with Child 2. Loves to leave dirty laundry on the floor. Hates to share video games. Doesn’t enjoy eating vegetables. Forgets everything. I am not exaggerating on this one, like EVERYTHING!

Child 2: Also enjoys fighting with Child 1. Loves to change into as many outfits as she can in a day. She like to go through my closet to try on my shoes and scuff them. She hates to share. She doesn’t really play with anything. She likes to do things but not play. She would like to employ me as a personalΒ masseuse or entertainment to be ready at her disposal. Loves to spend most of her time setting something up and then abandoning the project. For example, she will pull out tables, blankets, toys, clothes to set up a pretend store, but before she actually plays, gets bored, abandons the idea and leaves the mess. 😦

Child 3: She enjoys crying and whining. She loves to ask for things in that sing song whining voice. EEEK!!! She also enjoys changing clothes and often protests getting left out of what Child 2 is doing. She like to secretly write on the walls and then pretend it wasn’t her, even thought it says her name. She hates to use the bathroom and needs to be dragged to use the facilities. She much rather hold it in until she explodes.

Child 4: She like to eat, eat & eat again. When I cut her off, she cries, cries and cries. She has a cry and scream that can probably speak to the whales in the depth of the sea. She likes to get into things she isn’t suppose to, especially something that is important to Child 1, 2 or 3. She enjoys spilling toys on the floor and then running away. She also enjoys changing her clothes, but when I need her to be dressed she lays limp, not wanting to participate in getting dressed. Go figure.

All of this going on simultaneously can be a real pain in my ass. I love them, I truly do. These people are the air that I breathe and my purpose in life, but sometimes they can be real assholes. I have decided to express to my husband that I am at my wits end. These kids are a bunch of assholes. He simply sips his coffee, unfazed and replies, “I blame it on the parents.”  😦

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Thank you for listening to my rant, again! πŸ™‚

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47 thoughts on “My Ass Hurts!

  1. I just literally laughed out loud reading about your assholes πŸ˜€ I am still laughing. I am also laughing at your husband’s response…so typical of husbands to say just that. Mine just plays his going to work card. When he works he literally does nothing but work and sleep…oh and let’s not forget poops…is it just mine or does every man spend a half hour on the toilet? Asshole. LMAO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes!! I tell him to stop hiding in the dam bathroom!!
      I always suggest “you stay home, give me your gun, I’ll go into Brooklyn tonight!” I should mention – he’s a cop. LOL They have it easy!! πŸ™‚ So glad you can relate!! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I feel ya. I can’t imagine 4 of them. I’m barely sane with 2, and I get to escape to work every day.

    We’ve been good for a few weeks here so we are due. The eldest daughter hates to go to school (she’s the gifted one, so maybe that plays into it although she’s also lazy in doing the gifted work we got her so she doesn’t feel “bored”). Anyhow, our battles are in the morning, getting her to wake up – I don’t want to, eat breakfast – I don’t want to, get dressed – I don’t want to, go to the bathroom – I don’t want to, and get her butt out the door before the bus arrives – I don’t want to. It is emotionally draining.


    I think you deserve a night out without the kids πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • just one night? Can’t I have a week? How about 10 days? Yeah, 10 days in the Caribbean. I just want to get to the point where I miss them. LOL I might miss them after 10 days. Hee hee!! We deserve a metal for this whole parenting thing!! πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading!! Hoping for better mornings!!


  3. You sure it’s the kids and not the blue pajama pants you were going to throw out that are worn on the back? Oh…..maybe that’s why they’re worn? That would explain everything. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • It does doesn’t it? Now I am full of resentment. Its cold, I am mourning the loss of the favorite pj pants and my kids are a bunch of slobs that like to drive me crazy for fun. WAAAAAA!!!! Maybe I just like to complain for time to time!! hee hee πŸ™‚ Thank you for listening or reading!! Either way, thank you! πŸ™‚


      • No, they are on the bottom of the drawer but they have been banned in my house – I cannot wear them 😦 These people have me living under extremely harsh living conditions. Take my eyes but not the pants!!!! Whats next? Sigh

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Today they’re assholes, tonight when you watch them sleep, smell the tops of they’re heads. Instant forgiveness and forgetfulness. My dad use to tell me when I was a child that I was a good girl… When I slept! Lol All of us parents hate to admit it, and some won’t, but we’ve ALL been there! Viva

    Sent from my iPhone


    Liked by 1 person

  5. May Desert Flower says:

    That is by far the funniest post I’ve read today πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Thank you πŸ™‚
    And I agree with your husband’s reply being typical for a guy
    It’s a full-time job taking care of all of them

    Liked by 1 person

  6. kabir gandhiok says:

    While I do feel sorry for you, I can’t help but laugh *LOL* because your kids remind me so much of my childhood.. I was a major pain in the ass too… πŸ™‚ Have a great day and thanks for sharing this lovely post! I’m glad to have come across your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Since I’ve lived with a similar ass pain, I assume you’re doing an outstanding job. Is it too early for a mimosa? I could go for some veggies, too…maybe a poached egg over asparagus…Come on over, the house is empty.
    But the hampers are full πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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